I Remember

I remember the feeling of desperation when I was told that Chelsea would plateau at around age 12 and that she would not advance past the level that she reached by then.

Thank goodness they were wrong!!! But what a horrible thing to tell the mother of a special needs child whose learning ability was so slow. I felt the need to hurry up and rush her learning. To cram everything into her that I possibly could, but I had no idea where to start and had no financial resources to access help.

I remember being told that she had an IQ of XYZ and asking what that even meant and being told that it was the same level as the number given to a dog. My heart aches when I remember those moments and the desperation I felt.

Thank goodness they were wrong!!!

She has continued to learn and grow and improve in her ability to speak, relate, recover from trauma, interact with others and so much more.

Sometimes when I look back, I think, “How could I have been so stupid? Why didn’t I do more research?” We can only act on the knowledge we have at the time. And when we know better, we do better. I didn’t know any better when I was advised to give her the birth control shot to even out her hormones and help her anxiety. I didn’t know that it would cause a whole host of other side effects and that it would take months or even years to get that out of her system. And when I was advised to put her on a medication to help with the aggression caused by the anxiety, I didn’t know the host of side effects that would cause. I didn’t know that her joints would ache. She would have trouble sleeping. She would throw up her food and lose so much weight. That it would in fact make her more anxious and more aggressive.

I knew I needed to get her off that stuff, but then what?

I’m thankful that a trusted friend and naturopath introduced me to a natural way of dealing with anxiety and aggression and so much more. It sure wasn’t a quick fix. We slowly started ridding her body of the toxins and replacing them with natural healing components that could help her body and her brain.

I remember the day one of her staff from her day program told me that she was initiating conversation and speaking in full sentences. They said she said “Turn the music on?” and in my head I translated and thought she would have said, “music on?” But they said, “ No she said the whole sentence perfectly! I was amazed. She only ever spoke in two-word sentences. 

I remember thinking it must be a coincidence. But then it happened again …. And again …..and again.

I remember when she started actually enjoying going to her day program and hanging out with her friends instead of wanting to stay home alone.

I remember the day I called to pick her up from her group home after being away for a week and thinking how desperate she must be to have me back, only to have her answer the phone and say, “I’m staying here.” I was thrilled to know that she was enjoying her new home and her friends!

I remember some not so good days where she had a setback and hit someone, but this time, unlike before, she said sorry and was able to recover after just a short time. In the past if she had hit someone, she was unable to say sorry and would avoid that person for weeks.

I remember the day her “boyfriend” moved away, and she cried so bitterly and told me her “heart hurts”. There was no comfort in that moment and her feelings and emotions were so raw and real!

I remember the day her best friend passed away and the deep sorrow she felt, but how well she processed it and handled it. She sat with us in the living room and wanted to talk about it and asked us to write things down. That night she asked if she could sleep in my bed with me. If only I could shield her from these moments and seasons of sorrow and grief, but that’s part of life and growth.

I remember the day I got married and had to hire someone to be with her at the wedding and that she couldn’t be in any of the photos because that would mean she would have to stand too close.

I remember the day that she got to hold a baby (her nephew) and actually enjoyed it.

I remember the day she held a toddler’s hand to help him cross a parking lot.

I remember the times she asked me if she could help make dinner.

 

Although remember brings with it a lot of hope, it also reminds me of how far she’s come and that there is still hope for more improvement and growth.

Feel free to reach out to me if you are looking for natural ways to support your special needs child or family and what more information about what I used.