Drive by?

 We have started early this year!

Every year leading up to the fall fair Chelsea asks me to “drive by” every time we get in the vehicle to see what progress is being made towards setting up for the Fall fair. It usually doesn’t start till late June or early July, but this year it has started already. I’m not sure if it was because she was having a bad day and needed something to cheer her up, something to look forward to.. but here we go.
Some of you might say, “ well just say no.” I could but does it really matter? I live really close to the fair grounds anyway. It’s something that gives her pleasure.

I’ve had to learn that regardless of what anyone else thinks or says, I pick my battles and I choose what those are. Like going to the fair EVERY SINGLE DAY…. but she loves it and it’s the one big thing she looks forward to. Thankfully she doesn’t insist I go on every ride with her anymore. She has her two or three favourites and is happy if one of her nieces or nephews will ride on it with her. I used to have to carry a bottle of peppermint with me just to avoid the nausea.
 Another one of those battles I have chosen not to fight is having her sit at the table with us for meals. You see I had to make a hard choice to either have family over for meals or fight this battle.
Several years ago her anxiety was so much that she would often become aggressive and act out, throwing things or hitting people if they were too close. Sadly she hit some of my grandkids when they were really young too. Sitting at a table in such close proximity is just too much for her and I couldn’t put young children in harms way. She is very happy to sit off on her own where she can see what’s going on and hear the conversation. Maybe one day we’ll get there but for now it’s ok.

 Speaking of hearing what’s going on … if she’s taking a bath she has to have the door just a crack open because you know … someone might say something interesting. She does love to eavesdrop and doesn’t miss a thing! I have to be so careful what I say! But not just what I say! She reads minds!!! Just kidding, but not really. Seriously sometimes I do think she reads minds. Like the time I was thinking about what to have for dinner and thought maybe getting Chinese food would be good. I purposely never said anything out loud. Not even a minute after I thought it she walks into the room and says, “ Chinese food?” Honestly, I try to control my thoughts around her because it seems we are so in sync!

 She has many funny/ not so funny quirks. Some she has grown out of and some have evolved and keep changing.
I remember when she HAD to have the toilet seat closed and the bathroom door open. Some kids thought it was funny and would purposely change it just to watch her squirm and go back to fix it. She HAD to have the rear view mirror thingy ( you know … that little knob that tilts it so you have night vision?) left tilted a certain direction. One night she actually got back up out of bed and went outside and changed it because she just couldn’t go to sleep knowing it was the wrong way.

 She has phrases she will repeat over and over . Those have changed over the years and become less frequent and at least now we actually understand what she’s saying. - which reminds me of a sad story. When she was about 4 years old she kept asking me for something. I didn’t understand what she was trying to say. I’d guess and she’d shake her head no. I asked her to show me and she took me to the fridge but I still couldn’t figure it out. Finally she got frustrated and just quit. The next day I realized we had some left over chicken wings and she was trying to say “chicken”. It still makes me sad - but I digress…

 She just can’t stand to have a perfectly tidy room. No, I’m not talking about a typical teenager messy room. It can be all near and tidy and she just HAS to tuck some clothes behind the dresser or bed or in the corner. She will take some out of the dresser just to tuck behind something or in a corner.

 Like I said, we pick our battles. As parents we all decide what we can live with and what things are important enough for us to battle. The most important thing for me is her happiness and enjoyment of life. While there are times I will stand my ground, I try to ask myself “ how important is this really?”